Parenthood

So this is the second season of Parenthood, an hour-long drama on NBC revolving around a large extended family.  Sounds pretty basic, right?  I would agree.  I never sit down and watch it and expect to cry, like I do with Grey's Anatomy, or to laugh out loud, like I do with Modern Family.  Watching Parenthood makes me feel....hopeful.  Which is kind of weird reaction for a tv show to cause.  Perhaps because the setting and characters and dialogue in Parenthood are so normal, that when I see the characters struggling with certain things (Autism, single parenthood, unemployment), and dealing with them (realistically, not in a wrap-everything-up-in-1-hour time frame) and still being happy, friendly, productive people, it gives me confidence and hope for human relationships.  Don't get me wrong, this isn't a show where everyone mopes about Autism or unemployment, or whatever.  The way these issues are integrated so seamlessly into a extraordinarily normal  family is amazing.  I would dare to say that with so many characters and relationships, every viewer can find a little bit of themselves in at least one of them.  I know I can.  I can definitely admit that most of the shows I watch I enjoy because I look at them for ways to improve my relationships or to solve relationship problems.  Grey's Anatomy, Parenthood, and Everwood (R.I.P) are some great relationship shows. 

One relationship I particularly love to learn from is the one between Julia and Joel.  From the NBC website:

Julia (Erika Christensen, "Traffic") is a successful corporate attorney trying to juggle work and motherhood, alongside her loving but increasingly restless stay-at-home husband, Joel (Sam Jaeger, "Eli Stone").

Joel

Julia

It's the first show I've seen that looks at the often ugly power dynamics when a highly successful, type A woman works while her more relaxed, easy-going husband stays home.  At first you want to believe that it's perfect, to disprove the notion that men aren't made to be stay-at-home dads.  But that would be too pretty for this show.  Instead, Parenthood uncovers all of the awkward situations that most people would never bring up in conversation, but that they experience very frequently--like how Julia is paranoid and jealous because Joel is around other stay-at-home moms all day, who flirt with him and find him attractive simply because he's a stay-at-home dad.  Julia is in a no-win situation, because if she doesn't say anything, who knows how much temptation Joel can take before he gives in? Some would simply say "Julia should have confidence in Joel and their marriage. Isn't that the whole meaning of marriage".  However, this is quickly dispelled as too idealistic for Parenthood.  Despite all of Julia's best intentions, Joel feels increasingly marginalized, ignored and powerless because of his stay-at-home role.  Even though Julia isn't causing these feelings purposefully, Joel pins them on her, and welcomes the attention of the other stay-at-home moms as a way to flaunt his freedom and decision-making power that he feels he has lost in other arenas.  Eventually another mom kisses Joel (but Julia and Joel manage to clear that hurdle).

The interesting conundrum I see in this situation is that it seems unavoidable.  No matter what Julia says or does, Joel will inherently feel disenchanted and unsatisfied in his role as stay-at-home dad, and will eventually find other outlets that will provide him with the satisfaction that he needs.  Unfortunately, because Joel mistakenly pins his unhappiness on Julia (even though it's actually a result of a mismatch between his personality and needs and the current situation he finds himself in) he doesn't see Julia as someone who can provide that satisfaction because he thinks she took it away. This Julia-Joel relationship on Parenthood has made me think, a lot, about how, or if, a stay-at-home Dad situation could ever be successful.